For Wives

Proverbs has a few things to say about wives, vivid descriptions of how we can be a terror for our husbands or bring them great blessing.  I want to do the latter, but it does not come naturally.  

Remembering these words of Scripture, however, can guide us in our interactions with our husbands.  (After all, who wants to be described as decay in her husband's bones, a constant dripping, quarrelsome, ill-tempered?  And we certainly don't want our husbands to feel like they'd rather live up on the roof or in a desert!)

A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown,

but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

12:4

A foolish son is a father's ruin

and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.

19:13

Better to live on a corner of the roof

than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

21:9

Better to live in a dessert

than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.

21:19

Better to live on a corner of the roof

than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

25:24

A quarrelsome wife is like

a constant dripping on a rainy day;

restraining her is like restraining the wind

or grasping oil with the hand.

27:15

The point, however, is not having a good reputation or even being able to check "be good wife" off our to do list.  It's about loving God and loving our husbands.  Proverbs also says these things:

He who finds a wife finds what is good

and receives favor from the Lord.

18:22

Houses and wealth are inherited from parents

but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

19:14

A wife of noble character who can find?

She is worth far more than rubies.

Her husband has full confidence in her

and lacks nothing of value.

she brings him good, not harm,

all the days of her life.

31:10

We are in relationship with our husbands; we've been given to them by the Lord!  How, then, can we honor God in that relationship?  As we spend time in the Word and prayer, as the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin against our husbands, as we draw nearer to them in intimacy, we will bring more good and less harm to our husbands.  As I said above, it's not about us, it's about God.  Are you honoring God in your marriage?

I don't always.

But God is a redeemer and a life-changer.  As we cling to Him, pray for our own hearts to change, pray for the good of our husbands (not that they would be changed, but that God would bless them*), and choose to do good to them, whether or not it is returned.  Things WILL happen; God will do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine.

Go, then.  Put yourself aside and be a blessing to your husband today!  Do something for him, just because you love the Lord and want to obey Him in this role He's given you.

Some suggestions to get your mind churning:

• a surprise love note in his lunch or briefcase/backpack
• making a favorite dinner
• getting a sitter and planning an unexpected date
• visiting him at work with a coffee or other favorite drink
• doing the taxes or some other task you know he hates
• give him some "time off" to hang with the guys or rest
• refuse to nag him today about "that thing" he's not done yet
• pray for his day at work, that God would prosper and defend him

I'd love to hear about what you decide to do!

*Stormie Omartian in the first chapter of Power of the Praying Wife says our prayer needs to be these three words:  Lord, change me.  Not, Lord, change him.  Good book, by the way, if you're wondering how to pray for your man.