My mother-in-law gave me the day off from kids (who can talk) today. Isn't she the best? Seriously, if you knew how awful a daughter-in-law I have been at times, you'd think me more of a fool than you likely already do! I could stop there, probably, because that was certainly a grace to me today. But I won't let myself off that easily. I will, rather, let you in on how selfish I am when I do get these me times.
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So, I had the day "off." I must confess, as I already have to my husband, that I feared that since he knew that, he'd take my time away by making me sit to do the taxes with him. Instead, he started them while I was dropping the kids off with his mom, finished them by lunchtime, and all I had to do was sign.
Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.
I got to do my own thing and thought not a lick about the taxes, till he asked me if I would make him a sandwich. I said I didn't really want to, but would. There was no reason I needed to say I didn't want to, was there? But I did. Making a sandwich for my husband takes maybe a minute: bread, meat, cheese, lettuce. No condiments, no frills. A sandwich. And I had a rotten attitude about making it - right after he'd finished the taxes for our family - and told him so.
Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.
I had offered to get the one tax form that needed to be mailed to the post office before five, but remembered this about the time in the afternoon that I know traffic starts to get busy on the road to the post office. I was just about to start another project on my day off, before the last hour passed and I had to feed Katherine again. But I said I'd mail it and I needed to go - right then. So, cheerfully and joyfully groaning and moaning, I gathered up my things and went. (I'm such a martyr, aren't I? I mean, really, the ways I sacrifice!!)
Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.
And you know what? He really did have mercy. The traffic was light, I beat the rush of a handful of other customers, and made the whole round trip in about 15 minutes.
Wow, I didn't deserve that grace. But I guess it's not grace if we deserve it, eh? I was certainly interrupted; God got my attention. I ate my nice big slice of humble pie, and gave thanks.
Did you have a wow-I'm-a-big-sinner day like me? If you did, I pray God was and is interrupting you with His grace and you've found rest for your soul.
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Oh, Heather, this post struck a chord, big time. Just yesterday I was trying to come up with ways I've been interrupted by grace - and I couldn't come up with any, because I was wallowing in self-pity. Stephen had stayed home from work, on his birthday, in part so he could try to buy a car for our family - a purchase which I will benefit from most, undoubtedly. And a purchase we are making primarily because of me (and the upcoming need to tote three kids around). And all I could do was complain because he was being "too" thorough and didn't have any time to help me with two very over-tired little girls. I am a complete whiner. Let me echo what you have said, Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner. At least, in this small thing, I have seen grace today.
ReplyDeleteRachel, thanks for sharing your story! I think grace is the most profound when it (or should I say HE) interrupts us in our self-pity. Praise God for using this post and for His little embraces to us during our days, even the really bad ones. Great to hear from you!
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